Intrepidation
Ok, so I'm not dead, in case you were wondering.
I just feel that way most of the time.
I'm still "looking for life", even though I'm supposed to have found it in Christ
John gave a particularly effective sermon on John 11 this morning.
Why did Jesus let Lazarus die and stay dead for four days?
Why did he let Mary and Martha suffer that grief?
In the end His raising him back to life glorified God and proved His divinity.
So you could say I'm dying on the inside.
Well, then let it happen.
Let it die.
Better now than some time down the road.
Gimme your worst God, I'll prove there's some self-will left until there really isn't.
And then you will raise me back to Life.
See you on the other side.
3 Comments:
Well, I can't speak much in the regards of God, but I do feel I'm qualified for the rest. All I can say is to keep going. Someday what you've been waiting for will come your way. Sometimes it come to you when you least expect it..just in time to save you from the worst.
I think it happened to me, just recently....finally. I'm still waiting to make sure though. Don't give up!
Much love,
Your Sis! ^^
Thanks for encouraging me to go into the ER...I sure needed it! I have every confidence that when you finally find joy, it will be an overwhelming and amazing thing for you. You would probably really benefit from a retreat way off somewhere, or from extended baby-holding...something to show the beauty that is in the world. You're going in the right direction. Don't worry about forcing it. It's cheesy but true: listen to what's going on inside you.
Love,
Tia
He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it...
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