If you love something, set it free...

So the old saying goes. Well I'm back from MN now. It's been one of the most surreal experiences in my life. It's one thing to SAY you'll trust God with some extremely important matter, it's another entirely to actually say the final prayer, turn your face forward, and do it. Lord, grant me strength to choose you.

Welcome to the planet
Welcome to existence

He pretty much said, "You will have change...now." I'm not done reeling because it's hardly begun. There's no doubt in my mind that great things will come of it, but apprehension always lingers like vain company. The few momentos I have will be extremely precious I think. I don't want to wash those just yet: smell is very closely tied to memory. That sounds creepy, but I know you can think of a smell that brings you the comfort of nostalgia. It's certainly the biggest exercise in Faith I've been handed. I have many anxieties about people who are exceedingly important to me. I can't watch over them all the time, nor govern or guide their actions to meet my agenda. That's not true in any circumstance, but a physical separation underscores the reality of it. Lord, make me humble enough to trust you.

Everyone's here.
Everyone's here.
Everybody's watching you now.
Everybody waits for you now.

On the plane back I stood before two paths. One was well trod and wide, the waypost marred by the claw marks of those who refused to abandon it. Its direction was clear. In fact it was so clear that the final destination could be discerned with a little careful examination: futility. Utter indirection, mediocrity, and complacency, but it was at least certain. There were no unexpected twists; one had only to hold on to what was already there with insecure and clenching fists. The other path vanished into a dark thicket after only a few paces. Some unconfident footprints tested its soil, as it were, then returned to the other road. What did that road promise? It could be twice as horrible as the wide road, but it could be a thousand times more wonderful. It was impossible to see beyond the foilage without passing through it. Even the amount of it could not be discovered. Lord, give me wisdom to know your Will.

What happens next?
What happens next?

It doesn't make sense, but the map clearly points to this path. The wide road is very tempting. We always want to know what's going to happen to us in the future; there is big money in it. It's paved with nice smooth stones and soft sand; it almost beckons. There is the appearance of security there, of something tangible. But what kind of end is the middle ground? You may have walked a mile, but while you avoided the shadow of the valley, you missed the grandeur of the mountains. Then again, there's always a chance that you'll slip down some slope you didn't see. If your legs haven't been conditioned to climb, you're stuck. That's no result to be proud of. Nobody celebrates "normal," extraordinary is not achieved by remaining simply "ordinary." That wide path has no future, no wild victory, only an emasculate status quo. That's not the path I want. Lord, embolden me to single-mindedly pursue you.

I dare you to move...