General Hospital

So the consensus seems to be that I should post my Mexico adventure in parts. Unfortunately, as I am leaving for a week in 4 hours, you don't get to read any of it yet. That and I haven't finished writing the last part yet. So I'll start posting them after I return on the 30th.

I found solace today in Romans 7. Lately I've been furiously upset with how my behavior never seems to change. I'm constantly reverting to old sin patterns, I'm constantly tempted by the same old crap, I'm constantly doing exactly what I purpose not to do and being exactly what I purpose not to be. Well it seems Paul thought rather the same of himself. His reasoning, however, is that since through Christ we are dead to the law, we no longer sin. That sounds somewhat contradictory, but then, so does my behavior. And there's a good reason for that: namely, that we are dead to sin Spiritually through Christ, but not yet bodily. For some reason, God decided not to make his Kingdom a physical one just yet. So we all live in this spiritual-carnal duality until Christ comes again and restores the Creation. The solace I found in this is that it doesn't seem I need to blame myself so much for the sins I commit, since I vehemently will not to commit them. It's the law of sin that's still governing my body that originates those behaviors. In a way, sin sins itself through my flesh. Fortunately, God looks at the heart before the history and I am delivered through Christ. Indeed God can change our behaviors by His Spirit, and indeed has in me over the years. My inner perfectionist isn't satisfied, of course, but maybe the Lord is. But until He returns, we just gotta put up with it, I guess. I'll never figure that one out.