Disconnected

I am having serious internet withdrawls. I didn't realize how closely I kept up on my friends' lives until I no longer had regular access to the internet. The information age really has done away with time and space as now we can keep each other updated on our lives with the push of a button. But not me, at least not right now. I'm still stranded aside the information highway for a while. I can't move into my apartment until Friday (the 13th, my lucky day!) so I have one more week of isolation to endure.

A lot has happened in the past week. I wish I had time to expound on all of it but I simply don't. This weekend I'm spending with my cousin and her family in San Jose. Last weekend I stayed with my aunt and uncle in Auburn, CA (ENE of Sacramento). The first week of work has been pretty easy, mostly introductory things. They stuck me in the new-guy program right off so it won't be until thursday that I actually start work. Bonus: I get every other friday off, it's called the 9/80 schedule: 44 hrs the first week, 36 the 2nd. Nice. I've toured some places, learned buckets about LMSSC (the division of Lockheed Martin that I work for), and a bunch of stuff about space and satellite design. Good times.

I feel like I'm missing out on everyone. My best friend Tia has been having a rough go recently and I feel horrible that I haven't been able to talk with her, but it's a good training exercise for her (and myself) in seeking the Lord for true comfort. Still, it bothers me that I can't console and encourage her on a daily basis, she is one of the most important people in my life. Kento has also been having some difficulties and I'm just now finding out about it. Who else's life is taking twists and turns while my attention languishes in the daily routine?

I really am a child of the internet generation. I cannot fathom how people kept in touch before the days of instant messenging, email, and blogs. The phone? The number of conversations I've had on the phone that have exceeded two hours I can still count on my fingers. And what about before that? If you went away to war or college and returned, your friends would be completely different people. You could catch up, but that bond would have rusted. Maybe the mettle of a true friendship was better established in those days. But it raises a question: Have we become so impatient and nosy that we no longer have the ability to remember our friends? My thoughts have been strangely quiet regarding my loved ones, and even my prayers have begun to stagnate...I simply don't know what I should pray for about them. The distraction of a new job and a new place may be at work, but I've essentially abandoned entire sets of friends twice now: once when I moved to WA, and once when I graduated high school. I am determined not to let that happen again, as the friendships I made at UCU are some of the best I've ever had. But it's a handle I cannot grip; already it seems my memory is slipping away with an indefatigueable force. It scares me. It's not a question of clinging to the past; it's the undeniability of the present that drags me away from it against my will.

It feels so hopeless, Lord. Will these relationships that I've come to treasure disintegrate simply because distance has intervened? I pray not, but what can I do? If I place those relationships in your care, Lord, will they be preserved? It's impossible to tell from down here, and my field of view is so limited. Change is inevitable, but does it have to mean the obliteration of the past? Please preserve these connections that are so valueable to me, Lord. I'm scared and unwilling to leave them behind. I don't even know what I'm asking...I don't know what to ask. Maybe just patience and trust...I've never been a superstar at either.