Quantifying the immeasurable

This may wax mushy so skip past this if that's not your thing.

I spent a good long time on the phone with Tia this evening; two hours, to the second, to be precise. That should strike you as odd because neither of us talk much on the phone. Me, I'd rather chat in IM or in person, and Tia favors primarily the latter though the former will do.

As is typical with conversations between boys and girls, not so much of it is remembered. Though I do recall delving into such juicy issues as what God has been teaching us recently, Tia's lofty plans for the future, the startling beauty and simplicity of God's creation, and the dependence on faith of the effectiveness of God's work. A very rewarding conversation, including the gaps.

And as do boys and girls who have developed a very deep bond, we miss each other, a lot. Here's where it really gets interesting though. She expressed specific things about me that she missed, while I found myself unable to fully articulate my accompanying feelings. I, the linguaphile, meeting difficulty in vocalizing my impressions. Strange.

But I thought about it after I hung up and was puttering around, preparing lunch for tomorrow. What I miss about Tia are not necessarily any specific attributes. What I miss is the whole of Tia herself; I miss her physical presence in my life. The individual things are too numerous and/or subtle for me to elucidate. What I miss is the companionship and everything that came with it.

I've learned that men and women treat friendship differently, and I believe this distinction extends even into co-ed friendships. Most of this has come from discussion with my mother, who is always amazed that Alex and I never seem to know what's going on in our friends' lives, yet we remain steadfast in these friendships. Here is the difference as I see it: Men tend to bond on a level that runs deeper than language; the link extends not above, but below conscious appreciation. Men are friends simply because we are. Women, on the other hand, seem to define their friendships much more discreetly. They know what they like about each of their friends and why, and they can tell you if you ask them. (Please correct me if this is not the case) Perhaps it has to do with the more verbal nature of the female gender, or perhaps it hs more to do with a sixth sense men have about each other. I don't think it really matters, it's just the way God saw fit to design us.

And that's what makes it wonderful. Of course, in human interaction, there is no black and white, but everything is a mixture of poles. Therefore, the friendship between Tia and I (and probably all relationships like ours) is something of a hybrid. I can tell you many reasons why Tia is one of my best friends. So too, I'm sure she would tell you that she just likes being with me, no reason needed. Likewise we can talk for hours about everything or simply enjoy some activity together and never share a word. Both have happened many times.

I'm probably revealing way to much in a public setting, but it was an observation that refused to be stifled. Maybe it will prove constructive to someone. At the very least, this exposition changes absolutely nothing in my mind about the bond between Tia and I. Truly God has made this friendship, and do with it what he will now that we are separated by distance, I obtain joy to consider such threads He weaves into our lives. May it bring joy to you also as you consider your own friendships.

Et cetera: I've yet to write anything about my misadventures with the computer desk, hurdling my cousins into the water, the strange encounters at my front door, some ninja gaming, and why you really can't serve both God and money. Well, the Lord add his blessing to my musings and to you all. Over and out.