Sunday, June 26, 2005

Nothing makes you sweaty like exercise

I've deemed bell peppers to be unfit for multi-day consumption. Freshly cut bell peppers are a wonderful treat: crunchy and watery, with a slight tang. Even day-old bell peppers are edible with a daub of ranch dressing, but beyond that, they get too dry and tough, like old farmers. Cooked bell peppers are even less persistent. Tthe first time you cook them and they're still warm they're a welcome addition to any dish with ethnic overtones, but beware lest you heat them a second time. They basically lose all the qualities that once made them bell peppers. The flesh becomes bitter and assumes a distinctly mucousy texture, which, instead of crunching, sort of oozes between your teeth with a sickening squelch. The skin, which on a freshly cooked pepper is tender and lends added texture, becomes tough and plasticine. The best comparison I can make is to the insulation you find around small gauge wire. Chewing it becomes a tiresome chore, compounded by the necessity of flossing afterward to dislodge the fragments that have knifed their way into your gums, which is itself another tiresome chore. In conclusion, the erstwhile delicious bell pepper, when cooked and reheated, becomes the Sith of vegetables, spreading misery and disgust to whatever unlucky denizens cross its path.

1 Comments:

Blogger Tia said...

What a way with words you have! I'm sure the NAVV would love to have you speak at their next convention. (National Association for Verbose Vegetabality) I know what you mean though. A new and yummy way to eat green bell peppers is to slice them and fill the innards with cottage cheese... Natasha discovered this on a Rosebud shopping trip.

12:19 PM  

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